


Within Earshot

by mutents



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: Episode: s03e18 Earshot, F/M, Fear, Telepathy, Worry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-04
Updated: 2015-08-04
Packaged: 2018-04-12 22:26:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 776
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4497069
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mutents/pseuds/mutents
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>You're not. Not anymore. She can't pick one thought out of the... out of the din. </i>
</p><p>Even in the depths of everyone else's thoughts, she could still pick out his British lilt.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Within Earshot

Buffy whimpered.

It wasn't the noise she wanted to make; she wanted to scream, and cry, and shout to everyone that she  _heard their thoughts, she felt their pain, she understood!_

_**'God...'** _

Buffy latched onto those thoughts, the familiar British inflection screaming  _safe_.

_**'She's so small... A strong enough wind looks like it could do her in. But here she is... After all that we've been though, she has survived... I can't lose her to something as pedestrian as insanity; a Slayer is supposed to go out in a blaze of glory, not... a cloud of mania.'** _

She could forgive Giles for his... altercation, with her mother. She wasn't sure if she could forgive her mother, though; Joyce  _knew_ how much Giles meant to her. Their relationship... it was sacred.

_**'I feel so useless! I'm her Watcher -- I should be helping save her, damnit... But, I'm just sitting here, holding her hand like a ponce while Angel rescues her. It shouldn't have been a surprise that she chose him over me; I can only try to protect her, but he... He can save her.'** _

Buffy fought to gain back control of her body. Giles was  _wrong_. His thoughts were  _wrong_. She needed him, much more than Angel. As for him holding her hand instead of out searching, she wouldn't have it any other way. She couldn't read Angel's thoughts, but the ones from Giles' mind had an anchoring effect that she needed more than ever.

Giles was always like that; her solid, steady stone in storm swept seas. The only truly consistent thing in her life. Even when she'd found out about the Council's test, a part of her had not lost faith in the man. And when he promised to stay, despite being fired by the Council, she knew then... She knew there was no going back to how it was before. She wanted -- no,  _needed_ \-- her Watcher in thousands of ways.  _ **'Every way,'**_ her mind helpfully supplied. _  
_

**_'Oh, Buffy... If I could take you pain, I would...'_ **

This was why she couldn't lose him. Their lifestyle... it held so much  _hurt_. She'd first realized it when Merrick had been killed by Lothos, and she'd spent the last three years being reminded of that loss and anguish on a weekly basis. But Giles... He managed to take some of the hurt away. When she was with the stuffy librarian, it wasn't the horrors of their existence in her mind most often.

Usually, when she was with her Watcher, her thoughts were in far... lustier, corners. She wasn't sure when the change had happened; it seemed like it was when she had returned from L.A.. No one had welcomed her back with open arms, But Giles... He was the closest she'd gotten to an understanding. And when he had slipped back into his living room from the kitchen... She'd finally seen him as a man.

**_'I love you, Buffy... And not as a father, like bloody Travers thought...'_ **

She once more wished she could find her own voice. She longed to tell her careful Watcher that she loved him as well.

* * *

"I heard your thoughts," Buffy murmured. She was perched on the end of the library table, watching as Giles applied ice to a growing bruise.

She snorted when she saw his expression; if he had been anybody else, it would have been a look of 'no, duh.'

"I mean, even when it got really bad. Like this morning. I couldn't separate anyone else's thoughts... But yours stood out. I could always find yours. Like... a lighthouse in a hurricane."

Buffy pushed herself from the table and moved towards the counter Giles was leaning against. She could tell by his stance and his expression that he was guarded. With a small smile, she plucked the ice bag from his hand and set it onto the surface besides them.

"I love you, Giles. And... certainly  _not_ how a daughter loves a father."

His closed off expression shifted into one of wonder, and the slightest bit of worry.

Buffy gave a soft smile, and shifted onto her tiptoes. She leaned against him, and pressed her lips gently to his. He stood still for a moment, before responding enthusiastically to the kiss. When they pulled apart for air, she felt her first breath knocked out by his arms wrapping around her in a vice.

"I was so... so terrified..."

"I know," Buffy murmured, feeling tears grow at the corner of her eyes. She pushed herself back to her tiptoes and brought her hands up to his hair, rubbing in what she hoped was a calming way. "I know."

 


End file.
